When have you ever succeeded when you thought you might fail?

 

Amateur American

     Something that I always had in mind was that failure only makes you closer to success. However, like everybody else, I doubt a lot if it is worth it or not to take risks at a new challenge, because "what if I fail"? By ignoring these intrusive thoughts I've achieved things that I never thought I could, especially when talking about my exchange program. Imagine moving to a country with a totally different culture, language and social rules, leaving all of your friends and family members behind in order to embrace this new chapter of my life. I thought I wouldn't handle it, but here I am, building my future and kind of living the "American Dream".

    A few months ago, I didn't have perfect English and I had a considerably noticeable accent (I still have but less than before). Language was always the topic that I thought I would fail the most. I imagined how I would make friends at school if I couldn't even crack jokes and capture them as  well. After language, my fear was concentrated in cultural habits. I came from a country where it is part of the social norm to compliment, greet and give kisses as a way to be polite and refusing to do this is considered disrespectful there. However, in the United States things are different, I arrived here saying "good morning", "you look fantastic today" and worst of all greeting with kisses, and or I got ignored or the vibes got weird. Lastly, I kind of shaped myself to a more "American Style" but that made me less warm with people and I think that is a considerable loss.

    I remember that the first time I arrived at the university, I tried to order a Panda Express. This restaurant is diabolical, not because of the food, but because of the menu. Firstly, I have been to Chinese restaurants before, but none where I had to choose my order directly in front of the counter and with the attendant looking deeply into my eyes, and waiting. However, I was feeling confident and I gave it a try. I entered the restaurant and it was crowded. I was waiting in the line and carefully analyzing the order of the person in front of me. He ordered a bunch of new words that I have never heard and, since the restaurant was crowded, the attendant was 100% stressed and wanted to end the order as fast as possible. That was when it was my turn. I tried to order but I said yes to everything without knowing what exactly I was choosing. The attendant said "Chow mien?", and I replied "Yes, of course", like I had it a million times before ordering that time (I had no idea what it was). The sadistic game of words continued until the order was finished and it was time to pay. Since I don't have a credit card, I was counting pennies and dollar bills, while everybody was waiting. With the anger in the eyes of both the attendant and clients I just took my sit and I ate whatever I had order. To sum up, speaking English and living in another culture comes with this type of challenge, ordering at a Chinese fast-food restaurant. 

    

    In conclusion, being here, writing this blog, socializing, continuing my routine and ordering food at fast-food, is proof that although I thought I couldn't, I did it anyway. I might have done something wrong? Yes, and a lot of times. However, as I said, failing only leads you to a closer distance to success, and I always think that imagining failure is not failing at all, that is how even thinking that I can't, I do it anyway, and I succeed.